I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You smell like stripper and shame
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing