Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible