no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
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I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
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Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...