So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
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He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
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I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?