there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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