im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
