If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
