O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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