For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
