oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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