His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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