and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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