Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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