i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
