I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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