Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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