omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
