After last night, I could never be a politician.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize