You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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