PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
