I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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