Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
