Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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