Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
