Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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