Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
