I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
