I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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