Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
