So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize