I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
