Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
