At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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