I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
