I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
