he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
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i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
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THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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