You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
