I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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