So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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