Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Enjoy the penises
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
