She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
