I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
