This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is Oprah even human
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
