How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
