Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
