After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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