It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
