But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I love black thongs
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
