oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
