His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
