I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
