So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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