I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
