the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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