Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
