Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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