I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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