i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize