On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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