i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
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She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
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My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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