Me too!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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