well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize