dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
