He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
