Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
