all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
