It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Welp...herpes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I checked into jail on foursquare
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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