he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
